Merciless mercy

Heart's cracking. Unbearable pain. Another crack. Source pulling. The best is yet to come.
Natural law unleashed, no more ignored. The you you knew, torn wide open. Force across your rip cage. Callous tiger claws across your chest. Leaking heart, thick blood. Blank slate. Paranoia.
Fire across the rose beds. The gardener left. Ripped pieces of old stories. Invisible process.
Feeling like loosing a limb. Purification. Withdrawals, the healthy excruciating, the merciless mercy.
Remorseless tsunamis wiping out finest shores, coming in, and then another, and then another. The fisher boats are bursting. No more fish. No more dancing in the harbour. Dead towns. How to? How to? Can I undo this? The bomb blasts at inception. Too deep down. The inception is indestructible. Cryptonite burning three hundred feet down. Can't tear it out. Stuck. Brain won't react. Note to self: Consider this trigger pulled. No gain in closed eyes against burning sun.

Tie me to the bed, mind possessions. Won't eat for a while, stuff it in. The lights go out exactly when it's time to sleep. Exercise hour. The officer and his drills, no mercy, mindful coercion. Counter intuitive things, to be done. Tie me to the bed, lock the room, keep the drugs out. Let me come back to my senses. Fried brains, needing to rest. Beneath me my own path, my own stones. Pulling me back into my body. Air prickling alveoli. This girl's surviving.

Suddenly: an opening. Fate, freshly locked. Millisecond collisions in the heavens, thunder, somewhere far, not too far.  He doesn't know yet. You're out there. I can feel it. You'll embrace me with your big arms. You'll erase the last bit of doubt in my heart that you exist. You. You're talking to me, unknown. Sparks. Excitement. Washed away by pain again, for now.When, where? Unknown. You. I'm here, mending. For you. For us. Under the force of the merciless mercy of the universe. Until I have accepted the eruption of my world. Bleeding it all out. I can swim.