Meaningless

When life has no meaning, I drop it all

I leave it all, unfinished, until I don't even start

Lost in nirvana

But then, there's a small rose in the desert I find beautiful

I stroke it very gently, water it, look at it with loving eyes

and suddenly life has meaning

because I treated the rose with dignity and care, 

with attention and admiration,

with grace and virtue

in symbiosis, our purpose, 
across the whole world
we give ourselves a home.

Peptides

here‘s 'magic' in the world

it's just that the spells don‘t cause effect in the outside 

but they activate certain peptides in the human body itself 

and turn them into weapons

the spells are hard to create and have to be woven out of very individual situations 

while at the same time they are of general nature due to their typical, reacurring patterns

addictions to people, situations and activities are real

Does your voice belong to yourself? Then you belong to yourself.
Then you can brave the wilderness of owning your opinions

For years I've felt like a fish in the desert who has to survive there no matter what.

Unfortunately I'm a colourful monkey and need to be everywhere.

I realised it when the fish died.

I'm strong because I can endure. Upon that knowledge I happily rest.

Why?

Why? They asked themselves.

Because it is life in technicolour.
But it's a loop. There's no horizon.
Freedom is in love, grace, tenderness.

My life changed and I didn't want it but you can't stop the train. Don't try to stop the train. Don't ever stop the train. 

The endless search for truth

It is sort of an implosion. You seem to see this realm, and once the door is open, your foot is hopelessly stuck on the other side. If you're still sane, your second foot is on the mundane side. But the stretch feels like nihilism. You might lose many ambitions because their previous goals don't make sense to you anymore. You run around searching for answers to questions that stand on a slippery base, a base of non-sense. Why do you want to know the truth? Isn't it enough to have a roof over your head, get in touch with one another, drink your coffee?
First, you're on the search for experiences and you develop an insatiable hunger, you curious little thing, you're so human. And then one day you have to strip yourself off of all these juicy junks of adrenaline, because nothing will ever be enough, and if you go further into this race, your senses will fall apart.
The answer is simple. What are you? A human. What can you do? Live. What is your job? Breathe. Experience. Watch what happens around you. React.
But what is really important is that you can fill the void by being present. Just observe everything. Your own body, your thoughts, other humans, animals, nature, but especially what is going on right now.
For me, that is what heals me. That is meaningful. To observe.

We were a piece of art
but now we are apart

No matter how much cider I drink
There's not an hour where I don't think
of you
All your tiny little atoms
All your wit
We learn to let each other go
You're learning quick
I'm learning slow

'You are only coming through in waves. Your lips move but I can't hear what you say'

(P.F.)

"No, it is enough if such people do not accept the validity of certain spiritual laws in their lives, that they do not apply them to themselves, or that, in spite of certain very good qualities, they will not cultivate self-honesty. This alone is sufficient to become the plaything of the forces of darkness. The dark world takes its material from these currents, from the lack of self- discipline and self-awareness, from all the formations that manifest when a human being does not follow divine law."

Eva Broch Pierrakos

Language paved a pattern in our mind, through which we perceive the world. What we perceive with our senses gets filtered and categorised by the tool of language. After a few years of this information filtration, it gets hard to separate our true perception from language. Our mind has a comfortable editing format for the sensory input. There is a place behind language where we can truly meet each other. Sometimes we feel that, a jolt of deep connectedness. It goes through the learned layers because it is stronger than them, and truer. But it takes courage and more energy, so it could make us feel drained after a while. 

Usually, we rely on what we perceive through language. Our perception is forced through what we can describe with words, and it's easy to refer to only the outcome of that process. When that happens, we take words literally. When many individuals come together, their individual perception has to be simplified before it is shared. And when it is shared, it is mixed with all the other simplified images. The simplification process underlies certain rules that emerged from the societal evolution and are accepted by the majority. These processes are neccessary to bring people together and form a society that more or less works. When millions of people living very closely together, this simplification process is crucial. It enables us to talk and develop abstract, complex concepts. But we shouldn't forget that we have tools for much deeper communication and expression, if we let go of language. By not talking for a while, by taking time and observing what is going on, by walking through a forest, by simply looking at each other calmly, by simply being present.

I slayed the dragon

'We live under the impression that in order for something to be divine it has to be perfect. We are mistaken. In fact, the exact opposite is true. To be divine is to be whole and to be whole is to be everything: the positive and the negative, the good and the bad, the holy man and the devil. When we take the time to discover our shadow and its gifts we will understand what Jung meant by, “The gold is in the dark.” Each of us needs to find that gold in order to reunite with our sacred self.'

Debbie Ford

The fundamental heart is where we are

The fundamental heart. This is where we are.

The fundamental heart is where we are.

Our fundamental heart, that is where our true essence reveals itself.

the fundamental heart, this is where we, as a self, can just be.

Free spirited

the fundamental heart, this is where we  a r e

the fundamental heart, at this our most fundamental self, there we really live.

There we are hidden.

Have you lost yourself? Look there, look in your compassion, in your vulnerability, dig down, allow to come back to your heart, your spirit, dig through the trauma around it, dig deeper. Remember your childhood dreams, your intrinsic heart-feeling from your childhood.

Connect the dots between then and now, see your life as a coherent timeline, overlay your selves from each major time period - there are a few, link the selves. In that essence, what has always remained in you? Coming from the earliest time you can remember?

There y o u  are. There we are. There, we can truly meet each other.

There, we have always seen each other, admiring.

When the truth clicks, write down the keys to it. Like with this sentence, turn it around, shape it, so that a majority of people and personalities can understand it and so you can access it from any point in your life. Security, if there is such thing, is in quickly recognising the beauty, the truth, the light of the world within and around you.

True self

When we get distracted, we fall asleep and our false selfs awaken.

They try to protect but they misguide. 

Our true selfs, they are effortlessly, magnetically, committed to each other, and interwoven.

It is our challenge to when we open our mouths, let our true selfs speak. The pure self.

Which we detect easily because we wholeheartedly feel at peace being us, being love.

Dust on the windshield

The soul and the (navy) seal

I have a navy seal inside who protects the soul.

The seal seals the soul.

He shields negative forces. He gives the soul time and room to breathe and grow in the protected garden before the new branches are strong enough to hold themselves in the world and shine a light. And the soul?

The soul 'souls' the seal.

Our true core, we make him compassionate, humanise him, mend his heart. Within a divine balance, trying to change things for the better.

Pulse

I warm the pulse, you control the pulse. We like it that way.

Our journey

Our journey. Please God, please. Please.

Please let us spiral, for years, together. In love, with love.

Du bist ein lebender Mensch, eine Frau, und kannst irren und zweifeln und gut sein. (Erich Fried)

“Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you never know who could love the person you hide.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Alice

' "That's enough", said Alice. "No more fighting. There's much to be done."
The Lion looked at the Unicorn, raised his vicious paw and slashed it across the Unicorn's neck.
The Unicorn grimaced, then when he felt no pain, looked at the floor in disbelief.
There lay the crown, chains and all.'

(Alice in Wonderland)

Who do I want to be?
What do I want to live this life for?

Stay in grace. Treat others gracefully.
Cheer each other, embrace each other, mean it well with them, meet each other on one level.

Eventually, you have to give in.
Eventually you will let yourself fall into the well.

I am letting myself fall in seven weeks and I be someone else.

Goodbye to all this
goodbye to the self-violation of my soul every day in these vacuous walls
in this insidious distortion

External and internal

"And if you don’t know, you see, if you’re not really vividly aware of the fact that you are basically the works, you have no real joy in life. You’re just a bundle of anxiety mixed up with guilt. Because, you see, when we bring children into the world we play awful games with them. Instead of saying, "How do you do? Welcome to the human race. Now, my dear, we are playing some very complicated games. And these are the rules of the game we’re playing. I want you to understand them, and then you’ll learn them, and then—when you get a little bit older—you may be able to think up some better rules."
Instead of being quite direct with our children, instead, we say,"You’re here on probation, you understand that? And maybe, when you grow up a bit, you’ll be acceptable. But until then you should be seen and not heard. You’re a mess, and you’ve got to be educated, and schooled, and whipped until you are human. So that these attitudes which are inculcated into us in infancy go on into old age. The way you start out is liable to be the way you finish.
So people [are] going around fundamentally feeling that they don’t belong, because their parents said to them in the first place, "Look, you don’t really belong here. You’re here on sufferance. You’re on probation, you’re not a human being yet."And people feel this right on into old age. And so they figure that the universe is presided over by this awful kind of God the father-parent who—yes—has our best interests at heart, is loving, but who spares the rod spoils the child.

(...)
"The external world is your own body, extended. So he — instead of going up to the hill and saying,"Good afternoon! I very much want to live here and I would want to like to know what kind of house you would like to have built on you." - an intelligent architect always does that — instead of that, he has a prejudice about what kind of a house is a house. And he has to make the hill submit to this prejudice. So he has to ruin the hill and get rid of it, pretty much; then put the house on it. He’s absolutely out of his mind. And he’s out of his mind because he doesn’t realize that the external world is his body. When he realizes that he’ll get his mind back.

Alan Watts

Eight years ago something struck my mind, a realisation.
I knew, I wouldn't drown my luck in my ideals.
It means that after careful examination I throw dogma overboard (whatever dogma), and have integrity in and after that.
It's redefining our world-perception, our reality, over and over again.
It's inevitable once we learn how we are a composition of multiple layers and rivers of causa.

I always wanted to be with someone who is capable of this leap.

Condemnation

"Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.“

(Alan Watts)

Flowers in the desert

Don't expect flowers to blossom in the desert. There's some wild superflowers who do, but even they need shelter, sun and warmth, not matter how strong their seed.

SOULutions against pollution.

'The Universe is not outside you. Look inside yourself. Everything you want, you already are.’ 

(Rumi)

Grace

I want to learn grace
to communicate with grace
to thank someone with grace
to guard someone with grace
to protect someone with grace
to be graceful in the main things I do
to fail gracefully and with ease inside
and, when ease fades, gracefully feel
to acknowledge the grace that lies in life and death, in nature
to eventually ease the pain of the unspeakable with grace
to express anger gracefully
to make grace my ship
cause
grace is a ship that brings you to the harbour of worthiness at light speed
grace is a guard and a mentor that comes from deep within and is rooted in real intuition
grace is the gate for connection with each other
grace is the welcoming breeze of acceptance and forgiveness for others
and gives you freedom within all these at the same time
grace is the revolutionary evolution we are able to manoeuvre at our own will
grace is healthy humility without ducking your head down
grace is balanced compassion
grace is the dance I admire
and thus I chose to learn

Leave. you're not as strange as me

"Leave
You’re not as strange as me"

 (Robbie Williams)