Chronic shame is pathetic

It appears that chronic shame has a pathetic element to it, an immature emotional reactivity. It blurs the truth, and the truth is that I can rethink focussing on shame. Yes I can focus somewhere else, because chronic shame is simply a feeling, and it's not helpful. It's horribly destructive and pathetic. 

 I tell myself gently, grow up, shame is just a crybaby, a bitch, a whiny vain villain, and you know better than to let yourself be swept away by the alluring waves of the endless ocean of shame. Just stay by the coast, watch it, but turn around eventually and go your way. Stop the fretting. Chronic shame is pathetic and must be ignored.

Focus

And the fear of rejection, that's just another hole. It doesn't matter if people reject me. It matters that I love them and that I show them kindness. Nothing else matters. And when someone else hurts me, well then I got to show myself kindness and walk away and shield myself from the dark forces, because it matters that I open my heart for myself too.

 All that matters is where I shift my focus. That's almost what life is all about. There's many addictions around, particularly distractions. Internet, social media, but also drugs of all kinds, attention, relationships, and so forth. The more addictions I crave of these, the less peaceful I am. But the more I accept the darkness, the boredom, the loneliness, the less I have to be afraid of it, the less I have to fight against it, and the less side effects it has for me, the less suffering. Sometimes I just have to accept to be alone. And even lonely. Let it be. Feel the pain, if that comes up, let it go. Then feel something else. It is really not about what's going on. It's where I shift my focus. I will practice this until my body dies.

I have no choice but to focus, every moment of my life. But I do have a choice on where to focus, and that's what I can do.