After school

You step out of home. What you knew is gone. Your loved ones are gone in the way you used to know them. Your are gone. Your friends go away and you discover that you don't want to be friends with them, the weak bonds break. The structure of your day breaks. It is clear that all that is gone forever. You may get to know the rawest you. You may get so afraid you can barely move. You may get depressed. You are afraid to let go. You want to but can't but you have to. And in between you have to become clearer about your future. You have to fill the future on your own. If it doesn't work out, they will point the blame on you and you will give yourself the hardest judgement. You will fail and you will move on but it feels like scissors aiming at your soul. You realise probably twenty percent of what's happening but you're swimming in a felt nothing at times. Your eyes are blind, only in a few moments you can see.

It is a responsibility you have to fulfill without the safe harbour of your core, your center, that existed in your head when you were at school. Suddenly you have to bring up such an energy and you don't see it. You only see your failures although what you're doing is so big and new for you. For being you, you do such a good job. You can't see it, but you're doing such a good job. You are opening your heart and your head and you try to support others although the support from the outside that you used to know is gone.

There is another support. It is more open. Thousands of little flowers here and there. Even if you can't see now, you will. They are there.